"THBPBPTHPT!" *Raspberry Noise*

*Sigh* I had THE talk with hubby today. I have been avoiding this for several weeks now. Ever since we were notified that he was being given this national award, his mother has shifted into overdrive. Nevermind that we are going to D.C. for Police Week. Nevermind that it's our 10th anniversary. Nevermind that we never had a honeymoon and were using this as our great escape...She and my FIL decided it would be a great time to cross "visit Washington D.C." off their "bucket list" which, ironically, no one ever knew existed until this award came up.

My MIL was so certain that he and I would divorce when she convinced him to leave me and move in with her. She managed to keep him there for 7 months, discouraging marriage counseling (so much for being a Christian) and telling me to move on with my life. He's been back home now for about 9 months and she is just not happy unless she is getting between us.

For the most part we've managed to keep her out, but since she lives only 2 miles away, it's really hard to do anything without her sticking her nose in. We both have come to the point of not answering the phone when we see it is her.

When I decided to go into forensics, I was planning my future as a single mom. I was finishing my AAS here, then transferring to get a Master's and eventually landing work as a criminal forensic scientist. I will be finished with my degree in December.

But him being back complicates things. I won't stay in this town and endure the crap from his mother. But, he doesn't particularly want to leave. So we're at a stalemate I guess you could say. So, I expressed to him how I felt.

Basically I told him that I needed to know what he intended to do, that where I decide to go will vary depending on whether or not he is going with me or staying behind. I also expressed my concern that I really didn't see him willing to leave, but I am not willing to stay. He's mixed...sometimes he wants to leave, sometimes he doesn't. The entire thing is so damn depressing.

And his mother is enjoying every second of it. I blatantly told her that we wanted to be ALONE and didn't want anyone going with us. He apparently told her the same thing last week, he says, but I can't see him saying anything to her. He lets her walk all over him. I got really pissed about everything last week and told him to ask her for his testicles back while he was at it.

I hate this. But after he let her manipulate him and moved out, I don't have trust or security that he won't do it again, especially if he has the means to do it. I expressed that to him tonight as well, not to be a threat or ultimatum, but to be honest about how I feel. I'm sick of being given the evil eye by the dumb slut he was hanging out with when we were separated everytime I go to the damn store. I'm sick of his mother.

I'm tired of the bullshit in this town...the gossip, the backbiting, the lies, the Good 'Ol Boys, the crooked politics...I'm tired of being told I can't do things with the SO here because my husband is a deputy...not even allowed to join the reserves or do an unpaid internship. The Sheriff can be such an ass. I guess that's what I get for pissing off the almighty in a small town. I miss the anonymity of Seattle...

Is it any wonder that I take pills just to be able to contain my desire to go postal? UGH! I wish. Fat chance there. I can't wait to get the hell out of here!